Our marriage has been deteriorating for a while, but by now it's really all over, except for the paperwork. Not that we didn't love each other and make a sincere commitment, and not that either of us had no tolerance for the other having personal issues, and loving imperfectly at times. --We got that. All humans are broken people.
What wasn't a good reason to stay married, then?
--The abuse. Sustained and persistent verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse, coupled with dishonesty and the threat of physical violence, are kind of a deal-breaker.
Especially when you've clearly communicated to the other person that his/her behavior is not okay, and hurts both of you, and that s/he needs to stop and find a way to change, and s/he tells you s/he's so sorry, and then is twice as bad the next time, and the next time(s) come closer and closer together. The apologies and the good stuff that may happen in-between don't make up for it, don't re-validate the relationship, and can't re-establish trust.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Christmas Redux
Mid-December and through the present can be summarized in one word: Hectic.
Hence the absence from blogging, which can also be attributed to lack of internet connection in our bedroom. Yes, we are lazy bloggers. We prefer to lay in bed and blog. We have an aversion to the type of blogging that requires one to sit in a chair in some simulacrum of an upright posture.
Don't call us lazy though, as we prefer the term 'Horizontal Blogger'.
Anyways, fueled by guilt, I've mustered enough energy to crawl out of bed and blog about what we've been up to the past few weeks.
Christmas vacation rocked. E quit her job as sexy bookstore maven and we piled the Honda full of travel bags, Christmas gifts, and books and headed to Monticello, Florida to celebrate the holiday with her dad, step-mom, and her curious assortment of step-siblings and their various families, girlfriends/boyfriends. On Christmas Eve, we went to an Episcopalian church and partook in some midnight mass. This consisted of sitting on a hard-ass pew for an hour listening to the choir sing Christmas hymns out-of-key. But the aesthetic was cool. If you dig burnished wood, stained glass, candles, and chapel architecture. Seriously. There's something about a cold December night and walking up to an Episcopalian church that's surrounded by oak trees, their branches dripping Spanish moss. You walk in, sit down, and listen to people sing for an hour. When the stringed instruments have lulled you to the edge of dreamland, you're jolted awake and find yourself participating in the ritual readings from the Book of Common Prayer.
And the next thing?
You find yourself walking down an aisle and kneeling in front of a railing where a priest lays a communion wafer on your tongue and puts a chalice to your lips that contains the Blood of Christ.
I'm just saying, it was neat.
E's family fed us ham, roast beef, pecan pie, fabulous chocolate cake, and candied pecans. They also gave us some pretty awesome gifts. A red crockpot big enough to cook a turkey in. A microwave. A bakeware set. An electric can-opener. You know, things for our kitchen.
Then from there, we drove to Pensacola, Florida where we celebrated Christmas Number Two with her lovely mother. And let me tell you, if you're that kid that loves John Bellairs because his books always have scenes where the characters are drinking hot chocolate and munching on homemade chocolate cookies, you'd love Christmas at Elizabeth's mom's house. First of all, you're surrounded by books. I mean, lots of books. Rooms full of books. And then there's marzipan. And Christmas cake. And lots of Barney's Seasonal Coffee. And music.
Basically, it's the bomb.
I always love visiting her and her house, and Christmas there was no exception. We were showered in love. I'm talking Charlie Huston books, Joe Hill books, comics, sweaters, candy, homemade meals, the whole shebang.
I mean, we don't have a lot of money. But God seriously hooked us up. This was like, the best Christmas ever. And we didn't even need a lot of money to enjoy it. Who knew? He supplies us with all we need according to His riches and glory.
Hence the absence from blogging, which can also be attributed to lack of internet connection in our bedroom. Yes, we are lazy bloggers. We prefer to lay in bed and blog. We have an aversion to the type of blogging that requires one to sit in a chair in some simulacrum of an upright posture.
Don't call us lazy though, as we prefer the term 'Horizontal Blogger'.
Anyways, fueled by guilt, I've mustered enough energy to crawl out of bed and blog about what we've been up to the past few weeks.
Christmas vacation rocked. E quit her job as sexy bookstore maven and we piled the Honda full of travel bags, Christmas gifts, and books and headed to Monticello, Florida to celebrate the holiday with her dad, step-mom, and her curious assortment of step-siblings and their various families, girlfriends/boyfriends. On Christmas Eve, we went to an Episcopalian church and partook in some midnight mass. This consisted of sitting on a hard-ass pew for an hour listening to the choir sing Christmas hymns out-of-key. But the aesthetic was cool. If you dig burnished wood, stained glass, candles, and chapel architecture. Seriously. There's something about a cold December night and walking up to an Episcopalian church that's surrounded by oak trees, their branches dripping Spanish moss. You walk in, sit down, and listen to people sing for an hour. When the stringed instruments have lulled you to the edge of dreamland, you're jolted awake and find yourself participating in the ritual readings from the Book of Common Prayer.
And the next thing?
You find yourself walking down an aisle and kneeling in front of a railing where a priest lays a communion wafer on your tongue and puts a chalice to your lips that contains the Blood of Christ.
I'm just saying, it was neat.
E's family fed us ham, roast beef, pecan pie, fabulous chocolate cake, and candied pecans. They also gave us some pretty awesome gifts. A red crockpot big enough to cook a turkey in. A microwave. A bakeware set. An electric can-opener. You know, things for our kitchen.
Then from there, we drove to Pensacola, Florida where we celebrated Christmas Number Two with her lovely mother. And let me tell you, if you're that kid that loves John Bellairs because his books always have scenes where the characters are drinking hot chocolate and munching on homemade chocolate cookies, you'd love Christmas at Elizabeth's mom's house. First of all, you're surrounded by books. I mean, lots of books. Rooms full of books. And then there's marzipan. And Christmas cake. And lots of Barney's Seasonal Coffee. And music.
Basically, it's the bomb.
I always love visiting her and her house, and Christmas there was no exception. We were showered in love. I'm talking Charlie Huston books, Joe Hill books, comics, sweaters, candy, homemade meals, the whole shebang.
I mean, we don't have a lot of money. But God seriously hooked us up. This was like, the best Christmas ever. And we didn't even need a lot of money to enjoy it. Who knew? He supplies us with all we need according to His riches and glory.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Speed Racer
Wasn't really a fan of the cartoon, but I'm intrigued. I love the vivid cartoon color palette. And I dig Matthew Fox as Racer X.
This is how I unwind online.
This is how I unwind online.
Jumper
As a trailer, this is nice. Very nice. And with scripting duties by Jim Uhls, I suspect that the trailer isn't just being deceptive. Hope hope.
Friday, November 30, 2007
See Clearly Now
Today T. picked up our new glasses. I haven't had glasses to wear since high school, and I haven't had glasses I liked enough to want to wear outside my house ever until now. We both went dork-chic. I have red plastic modified oval/cat's eye frames by Cynthia Rowley (Cynthia Rowley is fabulous, and I love her aesthetic in accessories), and Terrell has sexy black rectangular frames. --Sexy to me, anyway.
We will get our contacts in a week or so. And both of us can see now! What fun!
It was pretty scary, though, paying for it all, and knowing the expenses (bills! student loans! Christmas! New(ish) digs in Newnan!) coming up for us. God was trying to tell me (or more precisely, was telling me, and I was trying to listen) that He can give us several hundred dollars worth of new music in one week, therefore He can take care of any need we have.
Being out of college and newly married, there is a lot to learn about trusting God in the financial department, and it's not been easy. Maybe isn't still? --Last night I was worrying about the future when God told me to check out Esther 5:6. When I did, it was the verse where Ahaseurus tell Esther, "What is it you want? Half of my kingdom isn't too much to ask for! Just ask."
I know when God speaks that verse to me, He is speaking it as the King to me (Esther) His bride. --And He is saying I love you, I'm pleased with you, what do you want and what do you need? He's treating me seriously, He's looking at me and loving me. . .so I told Him our upcoming needs (all that I could think of) and then went to sleep shortly thereafter, not burdened anymore.
Not burdened is a good way to feel.
We will get our contacts in a week or so. And both of us can see now! What fun!
It was pretty scary, though, paying for it all, and knowing the expenses (bills! student loans! Christmas! New(ish) digs in Newnan!) coming up for us. God was trying to tell me (or more precisely, was telling me, and I was trying to listen) that He can give us several hundred dollars worth of new music in one week, therefore He can take care of any need we have.
Being out of college and newly married, there is a lot to learn about trusting God in the financial department, and it's not been easy. Maybe isn't still? --Last night I was worrying about the future when God told me to check out Esther 5:6. When I did, it was the verse where Ahaseurus tell Esther, "What is it you want? Half of my kingdom isn't too much to ask for! Just ask."
I know when God speaks that verse to me, He is speaking it as the King to me (Esther) His bride. --And He is saying I love you, I'm pleased with you, what do you want and what do you need? He's treating me seriously, He's looking at me and loving me. . .so I told Him our upcoming needs (all that I could think of) and then went to sleep shortly thereafter, not burdened anymore.
Not burdened is a good way to feel.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
The Guild
I spent an embarrassing amount of my life playing video games. Literally. I have spent enough time bathed in the glow of a monitor while pressing buttons like a trained lab-rat to last a lifetime. I guess I was part of the Nintendo Generation, but the addiction didn't kick into overdrive until id software released Doom. The habit reached Requiem-for-a-Dream-like proportions by the time Quake 3 came out, and by then I was so immersed in the culture I was even making a little money off of my addiction.
I like to refer to this passage of time as "The Wilderness Years."
During my time in the wilderness, I was privy to all sorts of experiences and people. The most memorable people were the kids addicted to MMORPGS. I have a friend who was so hooked on the EverCrack that he called into work one day and told his boss that he couldn't come to work because his grandmother broke her arm and he had to take her to the hospital.
The truth? He was hunting for "The Mystical Teapot of the Western Waste" with his Everquest Guild.
Not really, but you get the idea.
Anyways, my latest addiction is The Guild. It's hilarious. But I think the best thing about it is how close it is to the truth. I've known people like this. Hell, I was one.
I like to refer to this passage of time as "The Wilderness Years."
During my time in the wilderness, I was privy to all sorts of experiences and people. The most memorable people were the kids addicted to MMORPGS. I have a friend who was so hooked on the EverCrack that he called into work one day and told his boss that he couldn't come to work because his grandmother broke her arm and he had to take her to the hospital.
The truth? He was hunting for "The Mystical Teapot of the Western Waste" with his Everquest Guild.
Not really, but you get the idea.
Anyways, my latest addiction is The Guild. It's hilarious. But I think the best thing about it is how close it is to the truth. I've known people like this. Hell, I was one.
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